Highs and Lows

In Paganism/witchcraft people will have highs and lows like everyone else. When you’ve made a discovery that has changed your path and the way you see it, you feel you can almost touch the stars.

Then there are the times that you feel you know nothing. You’ve made a blunder, or got something spectacularly wrong and it gets you down.

There are also odd times when doubts creep in and you experience what is, in my opinion, over-dramatically called “the long dark night of the soul”. I prefer the more prosaic term “crisis of faith” that the other religions call it.

This happens when something does not work out, usually something to do with the deities or a major spell has gone phut. You start questioning if the deities are really there, if magic really exists, or if you’re just believing in fantasies.

Most of us come through this crisis of faith, but some people do not. We all have to find our way in life, and paganism/witchcraft is not for everybody.

Fungi Trail

This was a fungi walk we had paid for which was held at Westonbirt Arboretum. The day didn’t start out well, as I was sick the night before and our hotel had no cold water when we woke up.

The cold water was sorted out in the end, but we both took it as a hint from Siannon, who had asked me to go and see our tribal tree that weekend or else. She didn’t actually say the “or else”, but that’s what I thought she meant. We went to see the tree the next day as we didn’t want water leaking all over the house, which has happened when I didn’t know I was ignoring her.

The walk was led by three experts, who showed us a few mushrooms and then said “right, we’re not going to give a talk, we’re just going to go out and find mushrooms”

I was lost when they started talking to us, as they dropped us in at the deep end and the only thing I knew about mushrooms was how to cook them. I had hoped that this talk would expand my knowledge. Instead it was all tramping about the woods, finding the odd mushroom and hearing some near-incomprehensible babble from the experts about names and such.

I did pick up a few things about mushrooms, but it was a waste of three hours.

So not a Moon Worshipper

I have never been a moon worshipper because I have never got on with the moon. When I started work on a Tuesday instead of a Monday I found that work went much better. Also my periods are generally 26 days instead of the more usual 28 days. I just don’t resonate with the moon at all.

I also do not venerate the moon because I have not yet found an Irish moon deity in my pantheon. Several New Age internet sites or newspaper reports state that there is an Irish moon goddess, but the texts do not bear this out.

The Scottish text Carmina Gadelica has many references to the moon and the medieval people saw the moon as influencing their lives greatly. This may be the case, but if there is no Irish moon deity I have no reason to venerate the moon.

Following Pagan Deities

It’s not easy following pagan deities.

Firstly, they choose you, not you them. So that means that the deity you were reading about and thinking that you really wanted to follow, turns out not to be interested in you at all.

Secondly, if you ignore them or what they want, unpleasant things will happen to you. I’ve suffered joint pain and flooding so far and I didn’t even know I was ignoring those deities.

Unfortunately ignorance is not a defence with pagan deities.

Thirdly, they turn up in meditation and ask you to do things. I’ve not refused yet as none of these things is something I wouldn’t do. It does add more pressure to an already too-busy life.

As someone said to me recently on the net the only thing worse than getting attention from the deities is not getting attention.

It’s just not easy following pagan deities.