Writing Prayers

In my opinion, it is best to write your own prayers. Often people will use ones other people have crafted, but it’s not the same as they come from someone else’s personal viewpoint and not yours.

It doesn’t matter that they’re not a great work of art. A friend of mine recently said that her spells read as if a five year old had written them. My response was that it doesn’t matter as long as it works. It’s the same for prayers.

Once someone on a forums said to me that she didn’t have the time to write prayers. If you can’t find the time to write a few lines to say to a deity then I suggest you may be better off in one of the organised faiths where things are written for you.

Funeral for a Miscarriage

We had the funeral for my miscarriage last Thursday. I don’t normally put things on the net as friends have had problems with people stealing their writing and attributing it to themselves, but I looked for information on funerals for miscarriages on the net and found very little, so I am posting this. Feel free to use this, take it and change it if you need to – just link to this post or attribute it to Quercus Robur. If you do pass it off as your own work, you will suffer bad luck.

I keen for my baby.

“This is our baby, who I have keened for as Brigit keened for her lost son. We made this child together out of love for each other and desire for a child, but it was not to be. We had started to think about names, about planning to tell people, of the joy in our hearts and joy caused by words that never will be.”

“Memory of when pregnant
All I had is history
My time with you is distant
Thank you for the memory”

Proceed up the hill to the tribal tree and dig the hole for the egg. Put the egg in the ground with the lid open.

“We say goodbye to our baby, who died in my womb on 12th June 2013. We say goodbye to our hopes and dreams for this our child, to raising a good and beautiful person. We say goodbye to the person who died in my belly. We ask that Donn takes our child to Tech Duinn to rest.”

Close the coffin and bury the baby.

“Burying, we say goodbye
Baby we are interring
We don’t know what went awry
With who we are burying”

Tie red paper around the tree. “We tie this paper around our tribal tree. As the paper rots and decays, so shall our sadness and grief”.

“The funeral is now ended. We have said goodbye to what was and what could have been and what never will be. May we both have another baby in the future, a child I will carry to term and give birth to. I ask Una to make me fertile and bear another child”

“Happiness for the future
Pregnancy of joyfulness
Let my next baby mature
Be born into happiness”


I miscarried on 12th June, but I am only now ready to write about it and how being Pagan helped.

I started bleeding several days before I miscarried when we were on holiday in Malta, where they gave me an ultrasound which showed the egg sac but not the baby and told me it looked like I was miscarrying but it could be that my baby might be younger than they thought, so it wouldn’t show up on the scan.

When I got back home I asked my ancestors and the land I lived on that if I was miscarrying could it please go smoothly. It was important to use the word “if” because the doctors hadn’t been definite I was miscarrying. If I hadn’t used “if” then my request could have pushed it into a miscarriage as we get what we ask for and not what we meant. I also gave a general call for help when I was in A&E, saying “my deities, please help me with this” which is roughly the form everyone uses sooner or later.

It did go smoothly; even when I was in Malta away from my land, ancestors and altar. In Britain you can get a free card to carry that is supposed to allow you free treatment in hospitals in Europe. Before we left we heard on the news that there were problems with Spain accepting this card. I got wheeled into A&E in Malta, they checked our passports and immediately said “you’re British, it’s free for you”. We’re still amazed by this, especially as it turned out that my card was out of date.

When I miscarried it went smoothly. I did have some drugs as I needed to get to sleep as it had all kicked off at 3 in the morning, but after the first lot of drugs wore off I didn’t need any more and I got through it without any surgery.

All the staff at Milton Keynes hospital were very positive about what was happening and kept telling me that the next time they hoped to see me was in the delivery suite and asked if I wanted to speak to a chaplain, which I did. In Britain hospital chaplains will not try and convert you; they’re there to help you with the situation that you find yourself in and if they’re available I suggest that you talk to them.

Unfortunately I am still off work as I’m not healing well. My doctor has diagnosed a vitamin D deficiency which is being corrected by going out (he says sitting in the shade will do) and eating fish. When I got back from hospital I did a tarot reading which said I would recover, so I haven’t used magic.


This year’s Lughnasadh was a low-key affair as I was ill. I cast the circle, invoked my deities and said a few words to celebrate.

This time I had to cast the circle in my mind instead of physically as it took too long. I would have preferred to do a physical cast, but it would have taken too long and tired me too much.

This celebration took around ten minutes. It did the job, but I would have preferred my normal format.