Returning to Meditating


I haven’t meditated in a long while. This was because I was always feeling tired and I had been told by deities not to meditate when feeling ill. Since I’ve been diagnosed with fibromyalgia, I know it’s a disability to work around, not an illness and today I have gone back to meditating.

Thankfully there is no fall out from my deities from not meditating. I talked to them about it and they told me that since I thought I was ill and stopped because of that, I was doing what I was told. I have found in the past that “I didn’t know” is not a valid excuse when dealing with deities.

I’ve decided to meditate on Mondays. I want to meditate once a week and if I have a bad day with my fibromyalgia it’s not a good time to meditate, or if my son has a bad night then I won’t meditate on Monday because I’ll start falling asleep during meditation and annoy my deities. At the moment it’s far too easy to for things to shift to the right in my life (for example, I was planning to post this on Monday and it’s now Wednesday) and intending to meditate on a Monday ensures I do meditate once a week as I’ll meditate on another day if things are bad.

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Meditation


I know I’ve successfully got back to meditating, as I’m missing meditating at the moment as I’m unable to mediate as I’m not well.

It’s not that I can’t meditate, it’s that I’ve been told not to as it’s difficult for themselves to get through the illness and speak clearly to me.

Meditating When Ill


It is annoying that I have been told by my deities not to meditate when ill.

However, I can see their point. When I am ill, I do not connect with the meditative world particularly well. I can get there easily enough, but my concentration ebbs and fades.
It is more difficult to hang on to things than it would be if I were well.

Meditation


Earlier in June, after being in hospital, I had trouble exerting myself physically and my doctor diagnosed me with malaise. I was off work for three months and then on a phased return, where you gradually build up the days you are working till you get back to work full-time.

Even when I was back at work full-time I wasn’t fully well, which meant that I couldn’t meditate, as I had been told not to meditate when I wasn’t well by my deities.

This week is the first week in six months I’ve got back to meditation. I got in to it fairly easily, but was not there for long. Like everything else, I expect it to get easier the more I practice.

I’ve also been told to meditate every week, so I will hopefully soon be back to where I was before I was off ill.

Following Deities


When you’re a polytheist you follow many deities. At the moment, I mainly follow The Morrigan and one or two others who will pop up during meditation.

I find that that’s the problem with being a polytheist. You’re not fixed to one or two deities, so you have to get to know a variety, all of whom have demands on you to do various things.
When meditating, except for The Morrigan, I never know who will turn up. Sometimes it’s deities I’ve never seen before.

Thankfully so far they have only made demands that I have been capable of doing.

Back in Meditation


Yesterday was the first time (apart from once last month) that I have meditated in a year. I will be going back to meditating once per week, as this needs to be a constant part of my practice.

I picked up from where I left off, meeting deities and being given homework by them. Thankfully I have until the end of 2013 to do it, but I will try and do it soon or, like all homework, it just builds up.

I also wrote the meditation down straight after I finished. I am going to discipline myself to do this, as there are too many entries in my diary saying “I have meditated recently, I just haven’t written it down”. I want to write every meditation down, so I can see my development.