I regret to say that I am stopping writing for the foreseeable future.

This is because I have chronic fatigue syndrome as well as fibromyalgia. The fibromyalgia is manageable, the chronic fatigue presents me with a lot of problems.

I cannot take my toddler to the playground because I am so easily tired and so he goes out to few playgroups because of this. There is also the problem of me succumbing to minor illnesses a lot. The wake-up call came recently when I had been ill for a whole month with one thing after another. The only time my son went out was to go to school and since his communication and relationships are an area he is behind in, he is suffering from my lack of socialising.

The chronic fatigue has come about because I am constantly doing things and doing things whether I want to or not and not making time for rest and relaxation. I have known that this was a problem for some time and had already slowed down considerably, stopped taking tasks on and was reducing the list of tasks which I had. Unfortunately, it was not enough for my body.

So now I have stripped down my spare time activities to what I have to do (housework, budget etc) and watching films, reading fiction and having long baths. I hope to build other activities back into it, but writing is off the agenda because I can’t write without a deadline and I need a deadline like a hole in the head.

I had been warned; the two of pentacles and two of rods had been coming up regularly in my tarot readings for years and unfortunately I need to make these life changes as of this minute unless I want to become worse.
So take care of yourselves and yours and I hope to see you back here soon.

Nothing Doing

I seem to have hit a patch where I am not really doing anything. I am still reading the horoscope which I calculate for myself every day, flametending and observing the festivals, but I am only doing that which is necessary. I’m still trying to draw Irish deity trees, but that is because Brigit wants me to write an article, which is dependent on the family structure of deities.

This inactivity is not by choice : I have been trying to slow down for many years and failing. At the moment I am getting professional help as I am currently suffering from chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia. On top of that I seem to have a more or less permanent cold. Or sometimes it’s sinusitis or just a bug.

I have a toddler and my ill health really impacts on him. For example, I can’t take him out to the playground on my own if I’m ill. Fortunately, he is happy wherever he is, but he’s still missing out and I don’t want him to. So this is a time when my health is taking centre stage.

When I am well (not counting my chronic conditions) I need to focus on sorting myself out and for once, taking care of myself.

This blog will continue for as long as I have something to write and as long as it continues being fun to write it, which is why I do it.

Christians and Pagans

A roleplaying game I was recently playing reminded me of some of the anti-Christian attitudes I had seen on the net and I’d like to say a few things.

My background is that I am a former Christian whose father is a retired Church of Scotland minister, so I have forgotten more of the Bible than most Christians know.  I have met many Christians : good ones, bad ones, knowledgeable ones and indifferent ones.  I would say that this is reflected in paganism : I’ve met good pagans, bad ones, knowledgeable ones and some that are living in cloud cuckoo land.

I will not deny that Christianity has harmed a lot of people, on the other hand Pagans threw Christians to the lions and I feel that if we had treated Christianity with tolerance then they would have shown tolerance to us in return.  In short, we taught them persecution instead of tolerance.

I have come across the attitude that Pagans don’t commit crimes, but I have worked in a prison and at one point there were three inmates who identified as Pagan.  Pagans are people and I suspect have just as much percentage of abusers, rapists, murderers and criminals as other religions do, the only difference is that since we’re not yet organised our crimes involve fewer people.

Disinformation – Rant

This is a bit of a rant.  Recently someone posted a link called “how to observe the Sabbats”.  I gave it a look and was annoyed to find it stated that Brigid was a goddess of the crossroads.

I commented on this, and the poster said “I just posted it”.  If you post things, please make sure you know that they’re correct and don’t disseminate any old bilge water.  There’s enough rubbish going around the net without people perpetrating it.

Seasons Change

This is the time when the seasons are busy changing.  I notice it the most in my garden; the ground is now too cold for weeding and I am busy pruning, clearing the drive and putting drainage holes in the lawn.

I notice it also in the produce available in the shops; raspberries are no longer found and turnips have become available again.


I celebrated Samhain yesterday by doing a small ritual. I also watched “Arsenic and Old Lace” a black comedy set at Hallowe’en with lots of death and madness in it. I know a lot of people watch horror films, but I don’t like them.

I also carved a turnip lantern, which took the best part of an hour to do. It’s the hollowing out that takes time.

My husband was going to cook a dish his mother had cooked, but owing to an accident on the motorway he got back really late and we had a takeaway over a Babylon 5 film with Asmodeus in it, which was oddly appropriate as we didn’t know that when we started watching. I asked for “Sixth Sense” which would have been appropriate, but he didn’t want to watch that.

Turnip lantern (tumshie) ready to go on duty


It is Autumn here in England. For me, Autumn is when the trees start shedding their leaves. They do this because they are getting less light. This is because the Earth rotates on its axis as well as rotating around the sun and the part of the sphere I am currently living on is slowly rotating away from the sun.

However, that is the scientific reason. I confess that I would prefer there to be an occult reason, but I have not yet found one that fits with my beliefs. I have heard the one about the Oak King and the Holly King fighting for dominance and Brigit giving way to The Cailleach, but it just doesn’t ring true for me.

When I became Pagan, many books I read stated that this was the season that plants started dying. No, they don’t. Farmers will confirm that there are crops which are farmed at winter, for example winter barley. Any gardener will tell you that some plants have foliage all year round. Grass lives all year round and can be found under the snow.


What you believe shapes your world. I’ve just been watching the film “Shadowlands” in which the author C.S. Lewis suffered a lot because he believed that it was the natural state of people to suffer.

Granted, a film is not real life, but I believe that if you believe people should suffer then you will subconsciously seek out situations where you suffer. Before you get angry, please note that this is a generalisation and I am not saying that people are responsible for the bad things that happen to them.

What I am saying is that if you believe that you deserve a good life, good things and people around you, then you will seek out good things and good people – but you may still end up in a car crash, train wreck or other trauma through no fault of your own.

A good example is that I used to end up with partners who were not good for me. Then I started thinking to myself “I deserve to be with a good person” and I started ending up with better and better partners.


There are many methods of divination. This is because all divination requires is ascribing meanings to various symbols and then pulling them out at random or thinking about the question with eyes shut, then opening them and seeing what there is.

I once selected a number of stones at random, closed my eyes and decided what the stone I picked out was going to represent (e.g. work life, love live etc) and then picked one. It was quite basic, but it worked.

A friend of mine once ascribed meaning to the dots on six-sided dice. I meant to try this method, but I put the book under my bed when my parents were coming round and the damn thing has disappeared. It’s especially annoying as I have a dice program on my phone, so I could easily try his system out.

Tarot cards are so prevalent because unlike systems such as cloud or fire divination they can be used as long as you have a light source. I’m best at cloud divination, but in Britain the sky can be a mass of solid grey cloud, which we Scots call dreich and is no use for divination.

I can’t get on with fire divination or any method that involves scrying : I just don’t have the talent for it. Someone tried to teach me many years ago and I tried, but just couldn’t get the hang of it at all.

Dark Fluffies

This is a term a friend of mine coined to describe fluffy bunnies who are not all “everything in the universe is lovely” but still manage to combine the ignorance and idiocy of your generic fluffy.

For anyone who is ignorant of the term “fluffy” a good example is a sister of a friend of mine who was telling him that you could cure any illness by rolling around in grass yet went to A&E when she had a broken collarbone. He encourages her for the entertainment value.

Dark fluffies are those who will happily tell you all about how to curse, but when you ask them how to cure mysteriously fall silent. They are those who will extol using blood in spells for everything, when it’s obvious it will not work for a cleansing spell.

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