Returning to Meditating

I haven’t meditated in a long while. This was because I was always feeling tired and I had been told by deities not to meditate when feeling ill. Since I’ve been diagnosed with fibromyalgia, I know it’s a disability to work around, not an illness and today I have gone back to meditating.

Thankfully there is no fall out from my deities from not meditating. I talked to them about it and they told me that since I thought I was ill and stopped because of that, I was doing what I was told. I have found in the past that “I didn’t know” is not a valid excuse when dealing with deities.

I’ve decided to meditate on Mondays. I want to meditate once a week and if I have a bad day with my fibromyalgia it’s not a good time to meditate, or if my son has a bad night then I won’t meditate on Monday because I’ll start falling asleep during meditation and annoy my deities. At the moment it’s far too easy to for things to shift to the right in my life (for example, I was planning to post this on Monday and it’s now Wednesday) and intending to meditate on a Monday ensures I do meditate once a week as I’ll meditate on another day if things are bad.


A long while ago Brigit came to me in a meditation and asked me to follow her. I didn’t particularly want to follow her, so I made a bargain with her.

The bargain was that if she gave me a child, I would follow her. If the child was female, one of her names would be Brigit, if male one of his names would be her father’s, who was The Dagda.
At the time of making the bargain we had been trying for four years with one miscarriage. I was 42 years old and time had nearly run out.

Now more than a year on I have the longed-for child and I must complete my end of the bargain and follow her. This means I have to become a flametender. I’m not looking forward to this duty, especially as I’m time-poor, but she has certainly held up her end of the bargain so I must hold up mine.


I know I’ve successfully got back to meditating, as I’m missing meditating at the moment as I’m unable to mediate as I’m not well.

It’s not that I can’t meditate, it’s that I’ve been told not to as it’s difficult for themselves to get through the illness and speak clearly to me.

Weekly and Daily Tasks

I’ve talked for a while about doing things daily or weekly and it occurs to me that I have never mentioned exactly what I do daily or weekly in this blog.

Every day I give an offering to the land, talk to one of the trees on my way to work and to the ancestors on their altar. Every week I meditate and talk to any deities which appear.

The offering to the land, which is milk, keeps our household running nicely and I can get advice from my ancestors or just offload things to them.

The deities are another story. They can give me things to do or test me or talk to me about things in my life.

New Old Habits

It’s so difficult to get back into old habits.

This morning I realised that I hadn’t meditated, which I used to do at the weekend and am trying to get back into.

I’m also finding it difficult to get back into sorting out a ritual for the next festival, although this weekend I spent five hours sorting out a job application which required an application form and a letter, so that was a huge chunk out of my weekend. I would much rather have been sorting out the ritual.

This coming weekend I will have to meditate twice (or see if I can do it elsewhere in the week) and write a ritual for Lughnasadh.


Earlier in June, after being in hospital, I had trouble exerting myself physically and my doctor diagnosed me with malaise. I was off work for three months and then on a phased return, where you gradually build up the days you are working till you get back to work full-time.

Even when I was back at work full-time I wasn’t fully well, which meant that I couldn’t meditate, as I had been told not to meditate when I wasn’t well by my deities.

This week is the first week in six months I’ve got back to meditation. I got in to it fairly easily, but was not there for long. Like everything else, I expect it to get easier the more I practice.

I’ve also been told to meditate every week, so I will hopefully soon be back to where I was before I was off ill.

Following Deities

When you’re a polytheist you follow many deities. At the moment, I mainly follow The Morrigan and one or two others who will pop up during meditation.

I find that that’s the problem with being a polytheist. You’re not fixed to one or two deities, so you have to get to know a variety, all of whom have demands on you to do various things.
When meditating, except for The Morrigan, I never know who will turn up. Sometimes it’s deities I’ve never seen before.

Thankfully so far they have only made demands that I have been capable of doing.

Back in Meditation

Yesterday was the first time (apart from once last month) that I have meditated in a year. I will be going back to meditating once per week, as this needs to be a constant part of my practice.

I picked up from where I left off, meeting deities and being given homework by them. Thankfully I have until the end of 2013 to do it, but I will try and do it soon or, like all homework, it just builds up.

I also wrote the meditation down straight after I finished. I am going to discipline myself to do this, as there are too many entries in my diary saying “I have meditated recently, I just haven’t written it down”. I want to write every meditation down, so I can see my development.

Gods Giving Hints

A couple of years ago my normally very conscientious and careful boyfriend let the bath overflow and since we were on the second floor it flowed all the way down to the ground floor.  We had insurance to cover it and thankfully everyone was okay about it.

At that time I’d been renting for fifteen years, on a rough average moving once a year, and thinking back I realised that in every single one of those properties something had gone wrong with the water, usually shower trays leaking but in two cases the toilet had leaked.  No burst pipes, it was all leaking water.  So I came to the conclusion that there was something unnatural about this.

I asked advice but didn’t take any of it as I thought that the advice wasn’t any good, so I meditated instead.  And found that Sianon had been trying to contact me.  Sianon is an Irish goddess who was drowned when she broke the geis that was on the well of knowledge, hence the leaking water.

I was thinking about this in the bath on Saturday and also thinking about what the nurse had said at the doctor’s last Thursday, which was that I was someone who got a lot of joint problems.  I will always have back problems, because I have an exaggerated curve in my lower back and big tits, which puts a lot of pressure on my back.  But in the last few years I’ve had a trapped nerve in my left shoulder which won’t heal, trouble with my knees, sciatica in my left side (my left ankle still aches) and last Thursday I was diagnosed with plantar fasciitis, which is an injury to the foot.

Now I am not good at taking hints at all, so I started to wonder if a deity was trying to get through to me.  So after I’d got out of the bath and dried myself I did a meditation.

And found that Dian Cecht, an Irish god of healing had been trying to get through to me.  He was unhappy that I hadn’t picked up on his hints earlier and I literally had to grovel before he was placated.  On the plus side, he said I would heal now if I kept taking the prescribed drugs.

The majority of my deities have turned up in meditation if they’ve wanted to contact me, but this makes me realise that not all deities just turn up and that some need us to contact them.  I am going to be introduced to all my deities in meditation, which is just as well as I don’t want something like this happening again.

Coming Down From Meditation

After meditating a lot of people feel somewhat spacey afterwards and I am often left wondering if I am back in the real world.  There are various methods that can be used to bring yourself properly back.

I find that it helps if you eat directly after meditation.  Tea or coffee are great from bringing you down, as is chocolate.  I usually meditate before a meal; either lunch or dinner as I’d probably fall asleep in the meditation if I meditated before breakfast and my deities don’t like me falling asleep when they’re trying to talk to me.

When I was a newbie, I was given a method of coming down.  You can pretend that your feet are roots and visualise them going into the ground.  I found this to be quite effective when you have your shoes and socks off and are standing on grass, but prefer the method of eating directly after meditation.

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